If I Had it to Do Over Again

While this topic doesn't fall strictly into the "Green" category, it is about living naturally.  Here in North Carolina, Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs) aren't licensed and therefore cannot legally provide services to moms and babies.  Oddly, 27 other states, including all three neighboring states, do license and support CPMs, giving women the option of choosing to deliver their babies at home.  Recently, a local CPM was arrested on charges of performing midwifery without a license.  Two bills have been presented to the state legislature; one advocates the licensure and regulation of CPMs, the other felonizes them.   While I did not choose a home birth for myself, I support a mom's right to have a private and peaceful birth at home.  The safest homebirth, in my opinion, includes someone who is specially trained in the process of labor and birth and right now the only people like that who attend homebirths are CPMs.  Felonizing them achieves nothing in the way of keeping homebirths safe.

I've been partially active in helping to spread the word about these bills and about the midwife scheduled for court this coming Wednesday.  In the process I've learned a lot about using a midwife and giving birth at home and it makes me regret (slightly) my choice to give birth in a hospital with some interventions.  Don't get me wrong - I had a near perfect birth experience and none of the interventions were against my choice or consent; in fact, I asked - no, begged - for them!  So none of the medical staff involved kept me from having a birth I did not choose.  

I'm jealous of the moms who can say they had a completely natural and deeply spiritual experience.  I honestly believed I could go totally on my own without any pain medications, but after about 7 or 8 hours of active labor I succumbed and felt weak.  In my defense, by that point I had been awake for more than 30 hours and was exhausted.  The medications gave me a chance to rest briefly but quickly wore off.  By the time my daughter made her entrance, I was not so much emotional and excited as I was relieved and ready for a nap.  I do remember kissing her head and hands (vernix and all!) and studying her little mouth.  The nurses and my doula were incredible and never once did I feel as though they didn't respect me or care about me, and they never did anything against my wishes.  Still, after reading and hearing about what a completely natural birth and having it at home can be like, I wish I had been more aware of my options and more confident in my ability to go that route.